Interview with new boy Simon
Name: Darren’s mate Borny (rhymes with Horny)
Age: 35
Single: No
Q. What’s you favourite film?
A. The Hurricane
Q. Lager or Babycham?
A. Lager
Q. What football team do you support?
A. Spurs
Q. In your opinion, who’s you most fanciable female?
A. Ellie Jones followed by Eva Longoria
Q. And your most fanciable male?
A. Jamie Parker (our boy Jim)
Q. Do you have a pastime?
A. Boxing, shopping, horse racing
Q. Do you have a nick name?
A. Shamoo
Q. What was the first song you cried to?
A. No Matter What by Take That
Q. Who’s your favourite band?
A. Massive Attack
Q. What’s your motto?
A. He who dares normally loses
Q. Laurel or Hardy?
A. Who?
Q. Scots, Irish or French?
A. Scots
Q. What’s you favourite sandwich?
A. Prawn & Avocado (with a squirt of lemon juice)
Q. Do you own a teddy?
A. Yes, he’s called Monkey
Q. What’s your favourite TV show?
A. Dream Team
Q. Trousers or Skirt?
A. Skirt (short)
Q. Who’s your cricketing hero?
A. Darren Lehman
Q. Who’s your idol?
A. My mum followed by Lennox Lewis
Q. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman?
A. Both
And there’s more ………..
Q. What was you best holiday?
A. Naxos closely followed by the Hawaiian islands
Q. Think of a number?
A. 9
Q. What’s significant about that number?
A.It looks nice with a curvy top and slim legs
Q. When alone in public, do you usually start conversations with strangers?
A. Yes
Q. Do you like to dance?
A. Of course.. break dancing
Q. Do you consider yourself smarter than most people?
A. Its not difficult.. i mean look at Cookie!
Q. Do you like porn?
A. Yes in an avocado sandwich.. with lemon juice!
Q. Do you keep a to-do list? (tasks, not people)
A. Yes and i have a nice maori tadoo on my back across my shoulder blades!
Q. How often do you drink?
A. Everyday..keeps you alive
Q. Do you smoke? What?
A. Occasionally.. with a drink..marlboro lights
Q. Do you like wild parties?
A. No.. why does wrotham cc have one..
Q. How do you feel about blind dates?
A. Would never have one
Q. How do you feel about homeless people?
A. Its sad.. i was dealt a lucky hand i think..
Q. Do you pay your bills, in full and on time?
A. Yes
Q. Which traditional wisdom is more true?
– Don’t put all your eggs in one basket ….. This one
– Women can’t control their emotions.
Q. How do you feel about sex without love?
A. No worries provided both parties are in the same zone
Q. Which is more appealing?
- a life of leisure
- a life of accomplishment.. this one
Q. Would you rather die yourself or have 10 random people in the world die?
A. Die myself
Q. What if it were 10,000 people?
A. Die myself
Q. Does living on a sailboat sound like a good idea?
A. Does it bollox
Q. Is athleticism a turn-on?
A. Big time
Q. How many times ever have you been in love?
A. Twice
Q. Are you still on good terms with most of your exes?
A. All of them
Q. Do you floss?
A. Yes
Q. Have you had plastic surgery?
A. Only when i had some stuck in my foot on the beach
Q. Would you rather be safe or interesting?
A. Interesting
Q. Overall, do you enjoy your life?
A. OH yes
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