Annual Dinner & Dance

When: Saturday 17th October
Where: The Hilltop Hotel

Tickets at a very reasonably priced £15 are available from either Russ or Geoff

Revenge Of the Phantom Clones

Catford – Away – Won

The galaxy is in a state of civil war. Spies for the Rebel Alliance have stolen plans to the Catford Empire’s Death Star. Rebel leader Princess Nicky Ward is in possession of the plans, but her ship is captured by Imperial forces under the command of Darth Ganesh who leads the Catford hoard. Before she is captured, Nicky hides the plans in a Kingsnorth class droid named G2-K2, along with a holographic recording. The small droid escapes to the surface of the desert planet Lordswood with fellow droid C-SteveO. The two droids are quickly captured by traders, who sell the pair to Stacy Busswalker. While Stacy is cleaning G2-K2, he accidentally triggers part of Nicky’s holographic message, in which she requests help from Obi-Neil Harvey.

During dinner, G2-K2 escapes to seek Obi-Neil in the hills nearby. After some adventures with the strange creatures of West Street they find Obi-Neil. He tells Stacy of his days as a Jedi Knight and explains to him about a mysterious energy field called the Force. He also tells Stacy about his association with Stacy’s father, also a Jedi, whom he claims to have been betrayed and murdered by Darth Dave Vader, Obi-Neil’s former pupil who turned to the dark side. Obi-Neil then views Nicky’s message, in which she begs him to take G2-K2 and the Death Star plans to her home planet of Wrotham, where her father will be able to retrieve and analyze them. Obi-Neil asks Stacy to accompany him to Wrotham and to learn the ways of the Force. Stacy agrees and the two hire smuggler Russ Solo and his Wookiee co-pilot Chuffer to transport them on their ship, the Millennium Jeep.

We join our heroes as they journey to Catford to defeat the galactic menace …….

….. Using some very advanced technology, Jason The Pizza Hut was able to guide the Jeep to the vicinity of the Imperial fortress and rendezvoused with other members of the Rebel Alliance. The band of heroes disembarked with their gear and set up a forward base.

By virtue of not having a Wookiee of their own Princess Nicky immediately gained the upper hand and launched the opening salvo in the final battle to decide ultimate supremacy. Jason The Pizza Hut opened fire with a young padawan named Har Har Meredith. They faced the might of Darth Garnesh but the opposition didn’t know what was happening and had no answer to their initial onslaught. In the sixth over the first of their troopers lost his stumps with only 8 runs on the galactic board and Har Har was punching the air in celebration. Darth Garnesh came back from this setback flailing and swinging. The galactic scoreboard was ticking up when Princess Nicky called on Stacy Busswalker to stem the tide. The Force is strong in this one and soon he had his first victim. And then another one and another. There was no stopping him as he carved his way through the dark forces.

Obi-Neil got in on the action and picked up his usual couple of scalps with the minimum of fuss. Almost without effect the venerable warrior struck at the opposition and when he was finally hit it only made him stronger.

When the dark forces were beaten back with only a meager 96 on the galactic scoreboard, the Rebel Alliance regrouped at their forward base and shared some rations.

Suitably refreshed and revived the first of the heroes went out to do individual battle with the enemy. Princess Nicky donned the Helm of Might and led the way. Right from the start her flashing blade flashed and the enemy attack was smashed to the far edges of the combat zone. Having shown what she could do the enemy redoubled their efforts but they couldn’t shift her. With steely eyes she faced and dismissed each attempt.

Accompanying Nicky was a notorious bounty hunter, Boba Bryce. Expectations were high that this cricketing Jedi would finish off the enemy and win the day. Darth Garnesh himself dispatched our hero and too soon his battle was over. Har Har Meredith was the next to come bounding out to join the struggle.

His fight lasted no longer than it takes a Ewok to win cute furry little midget of the year award. Enter Russ Solo and his hefty blaster. Immediately, the tide turned and together he and Princess Nicky began to look invincible. The enemy moral was broken and it was only a matter of time before they were to be defeated. The Rebels plan was simple, just see off their big guns and then smash the rest.

It was a good plan but just when it was about to pay dividends, Princess Nicky fell to an unlucky shot. The Rebels were half way to victory by then when young Busswalker joined his old ally Solo. Wielding his lightsaber he sliced his way through the enemy ranks and victory became a certainty. Fate is a bitch though and with only 6 runs required to ensure victory, Russ too fell by the way.

Young Busswalker was joined by Jason The Pizza Hut who with a mighty blow leveled the scores. As is fitting, with a ferocious swing of his lightsaber Busswalker dispatched the final attack and destroyed the Death Star seconds before it fired on the Rebel base. Later, at a grand ceremony, Princess Nicky awards liquid rewards to Stacy and Russ for their heroism in the battle.

“Dum Dum Dum, Dum-te-Dum, Dum-te-Dum”

Moment Of The Match
Their opening batsman hit Stacy for what was probably the biggest six we have seen this year. Now he is a philosophical type of lad and “these things happen”. However, philosophy was out the window and replaced with incredulity when he learned that the man who had struck the blow was over seventy years old!

Man Of The Match
No question; for his figures of 5 for 21, some lively fielding and an undefeated 20 the accolades and tributes can only go to Stacy Buss.