The Cook Report

30 05 2006

The Cook Report Detective
Wrotham Vs Bromley 3rd XI
Saturday 27th may 2006

 

 
Wrotham were very unlucky not to win this close encounter, losing with just an over and a bit to go and fielding just 10 players.

On an overcast and damp day, the conditions were always going to play a factor. Bromley 3rds won the toss and elected to bowl first. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that with all the week’s rain, the pitch would be nice and juicy for any pace of bowler.

Wrotham openers Evans and Cook strode out to do battle and were more than equal to anything the talented Bromley opening bowlers could throw at them. Going was difficult but there were no real scares within the first 8 or so overs. Whilst attempting a drive, Cook twisted his right knee and was forced to hobble around more or less on one leg. The injury is an old occurrence of a freak base jumping accident in which Cook’s parachute didn’t open and he somehow managed to survive the 15ft drop from his first floor bathroom window.

Cook decided to retire hurt and rest his knee rather than waste his wicket. This brought the well inform Jim ‘ Jimmy ‘ Alexander to the crease. Going was still tough for Evans and Alexander but both looked comfortable and were looking to open up their shoulders. As soon as it looked as if these two would strive forward the innings, disaster struck. Alexander was bowled whilst trying to clip one to mid wicket. Alexander was disappointed with himself and spent at least a good hour or so shaking his head in disgust with himself saying,” Rupert, you idiot, I said last week not to play that shot. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. “

This brought Stacy Buss to the wicket. The ex Captain was quick to find his feet and started playing some fine shots to support Evans and help build a solid foundation for Wrotham. Around this time the rain began to fall lightly and the pitch was starting to aid the bowlers even further. It was this extra advantage that helped Bromley gain the wickets of first Evans, and then Butler of the Wayne kind also looked comfortable and was unfortunate with his dismissal. This brought Cook back to the crease after some rest and some vitamins. Cook went out to unsettle the consistent spinners. It kind of worked although almost immediately the rain became harder and the players trudged off for shelter.

After the break and tea, Buss and Cook continued to push the score up. Conditions at the wicket were very difficult and it wasn’t pretty out there. Buss’ excellent reverse sweep drew gasps from the 5 strong crowd. Cook was run out by Buss deliberately. Knowing he had a dodgy knee, Buss called a second run that was never there. Enter Davey ‘Woody Wood Woody Woody’ Wood to the crease. Woody didn’t last long and was caught out after skying one from the edge of his woody bat made from wood from a woody oak tree in a large wood in Forest Wood, near Petts Wood. Woody was ‘barking’ mad! He was told to ‘leaf’ it out.

Enter into the fray the entertaining Jason Butler and Stevo Burton. These two certainly lit up a gloomy day and shots were frequent and it helped unsettle the Bromley bowlers. Basher Burton helping himself to 3 magnificent shots to the boundary.

After the fall of Burton and Butler of the Jason kind, stalwart Neil Harvey and rookie Sam Davies frustrated Bromley who were looking to gain extra overs by bowling out Wrotham before the 46 mark. Buss made a brilliant 50 to give Wrotham a respectable total.

So, Bromley were chasing 145 for victory and the rain had stopped and the pitch began to dry, apart from the sogging outfield. Wrotham’s bowlers had to keep it at around 3 an over if possible with a slippery ball. Harvey and Butler of the Jason kind began our defence. Both were doing well but the conditions didn’t help Butler of the Jason kind. Skipper Evans then brought himself on and this gave the Bromley openers cause for concern. Wickets started to fall through some brilliant and hard working bowling by Evans, Harvey and Buss. The fielding within the side was also a highlight. There was the odd lack in concentration but overall, considering the wet conditions, Wrotham were excellent in the field and kept Bromley at the 3 an over mark more or less all innings. Stevo Burton came on to bowl and was causing problems for Bromley. Wrotham were unlucky on many occasion not to take wickets.

A bit of tail wag from Bromley looked to have taken the game away from Wrotham. An excellent one hand stumping from wicketkeeper Cook gave Wrotham some hope and then Buss came up trumps more than once with 2 wickets from full tosses and 1 from a long hop. The wicket from the long hop brought the moment of the day. A top edge saw the ball loop over the keepers head towards young Sam fielding at short fine leg. The ball went quite high in the air, with Sam steadying himself and looking up at the heavens, he caught the ball waist height to give Wrotham a chance of victory. The shear look of amazement on his face at the realisation of his catch was priceless. He was immediately mobbed by his team mates and the biggest, broadest smile you are ever likely to see on a cricket field, lit up the place with the light fading. You could have said Wrotham had 9 plus young Sam, but the rookie didn’t put a foot wrong all game.

Unfortunately Bromley held out and gained the victory with an over or so left. A brave effort by Wrotham and although a defeat, it was seen as one of our better performances in the field. Pick of the bowlers was Neil Harvey who went for just 19 off his allotted 12 overs, gaining 2 wickets. Excellent stuff. Everybody contributed in some way and can take great pride in their performance.





Left handers rule

27 05 2006

KP's reverse sweepI watched Atthers, Gower and Beefy this morning discussing Kevin Pietersen's magnificent "reverse sweep" six yesterday in the second day of the test against Sri Lanka.

Their first point was that it really wasn't a reverse sweep as he actually changed his stance, his front foot and reversed his hands so really he converted over to being left handed. And what was the first shot he played as a "proper" batsman? A six. See, it just goes to show what an advantage we have.

Their second point was a query really. What would have happened if he'd been hit on the pads? Would the umpires consider him a left or right handed batsman? Which is the leg side? If the ball pitched on the left hand side of the stumps (as the umpire sees it) could he be out? I don't know, thoughts?





Players Needed

22 05 2006

Are you at a loose end and finding Saturday’s hard to fill ???

Enjoy playing Cricket???

Why not come along to our cricket club and try out for the Saturday side, we are always looking for new members, maybe you would just like to support us, either way we would love to see you .. you can get details of nets dates and times from the Saturday captain Gary Evans on 07854 986360 ……. Hope to see you all there!!





Buffet and Boogie September 2006

17 05 2006

This years annual dinner and dance theme has changed (as you may have guessed by the name), gone is the coach, gone is the hotel, gone is the formal dinner …… this year we will be hosting the ever successful event at St Georges Hall, Wrotham with a very informal buffet and disco, unfortunately we will all have to suffer the speeches but I am sure if it gets too much we can switch the mic off, they’ll never notice!!

Tickets for this unmissable event will be on sale through the cricket club itself or from the George and Dragon pub from the beginning of June for an astonishing £15 each, this includes your entry, your buffet, disco and raffle entry and the chance to see Geoff strutting his stuff on the dance floor . . . . what more could you want!

We’ll also have a bar with beer, wine and soft drinks however you are more than welcome to bring your own drink …….

We are asking all playing members to donate a prize for the raffle, you never know you might even be lucky enough to win it back, you may even win the main prize which is ??????? You’ll have to be there to find out …..

In all seriousness this night is for all cricketers and their friends to get together, share their statistics from the year, drink lots and have a really good night and it would be really good to see everyone there …





Bourne Identity

16 05 2006

Interview with new boy SimonSimon

Name: Darren’s mate Borny (rhymes with Horny)
Age: 35
Single: No

 

Q. What’s you favourite film?
A. The Hurricane

Q. Lager or Babycham?
A. Lager

Q. What football team do you support?
A. Spurs

Q. In your opinion, who’s you most fanciable female?
A. Ellie Jones followed by Eva Longoria

Q. And your most fanciable male?
A. Jamie Parker (our boy Jim)

Q. Do you have a pastime?
A. Boxing, shopping, horse racing

Q. Do you have a nick name?
A. Shamoo

Q. What was the first song you cried to?
A. No Matter What by Take That

Q. Who’s your favourite band?
A. Massive Attack

Q. What’s your motto?
A. He who dares normally loses

Q. Laurel or Hardy?
A. Who?

Q. Scots, Irish or French?
A. Scots

Q. What’s you favourite sandwich?
A. Prawn & Avocado (with a squirt of lemon juice)

Q. Do you own a teddy?
A. Yes, he’s called Monkey

Q. What’s your favourite TV show?
A. Dream Team

Q. Trousers or Skirt?
A. Skirt (short)

Q. Who’s your cricketing hero?
A. Darren Lehman

Q. Who’s your idol?
A. My mum followed by Lennox Lewis

Q. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman?
A. Both

And there’s more ………..

Q. What was you best holiday?
A. Naxos closely followed by the Hawaiian islands

Q. Think of a number?
A. 9

Q. What’s significant about that number?
A.It looks nice with a curvy top and slim legs

Q. When alone in public, do you usually start conversations with strangers?
A. Yes

Q. Do you like to dance?
A. Of course.. break dancing

Q. Do you consider yourself smarter than most people?
A. Its not difficult.. i mean look at Cookie!

Q. Do you like porn?
A. Yes in an avocado sandwich.. with lemon juice!

Q. Do you keep a to-do list? (tasks, not people)
A. Yes and i have a nice maori tadoo on my back across my shoulder blades!

Q. How often do you drink?
A. Everyday..keeps you alive

Q. Do you smoke? What?
A. Occasionally.. with a drink..marlboro lights

Q. Do you like wild parties?
A. No.. why does wrotham cc have one..

Q. How do you feel about blind dates?
A. Would never have one

Q. How do you feel about homeless people?
A. Its sad.. i was dealt a lucky hand i think..

Q. Do you pay your bills, in full and on time?
A. Yes

Q. Which traditional wisdom is more true?
– Don’t put all your eggs in one basket ….. This one
– Women can’t control their emotions.

Q. How do you feel about sex without love?
A. No worries provided both parties are in the same zone

Q. Which is more appealing?
- a life of leisure
- a life of accomplishment.. this one

Q. Would you rather die yourself or have 10 random people in the world die?
A. Die myself

Q. What if it were 10,000 people?
A. Die myself

Q. Does living on a sailboat sound like a good idea?
A. Does it bollox

Q. Is athleticism a turn-on?
A. Big time

Q. How many times ever have you been in love?
A. Twice

Q. Are you still on good terms with most of your exes?
A. All of them

Q. Do you floss?
A. Yes

Q. Have you had plastic surgery?
A. Only when i had some stuck in my foot on the beach

Q. Would you rather be safe or interesting?
A. Interesting

Q. Overall, do you enjoy your life?
A. OH yes