Highways At Platt – Home – Won

Let’s face it, it has been an awful season so far what with either loosing or throwing games away. Well, that all changed when the unfortunate souls from Platt ventured north.

The Mighty Buss (more of that later) did us proud and won the toss and this time we were going to bat second and chase the runs. I must say that the atmosphere around the ground was of lazy acceptance as opposed to dignified confidence which would have been easier to write about. Anyhow, the always dignified and confident Wynne took the new ball and started well with just 2 off the first over. Then Evans began the second over with a wide and followed that ball with a 4 – oh God, Platt could bat and we were looking at another large score. Wynne came back on and wham – they were 8 for 2 in a blink. This spurred Evans on to up the level and he found pace and direction. Unfortunately, most of the balls were too good to get the wickets he deserved. Still, he was conceding no runs and scaring the batsmen.

Speaking of which – the game was interrupted when he showed the batsman his “Game Face”. The poor sod turned white, ran off the pitch and into the toilet where the sound of retching lasted some time. Eventually, he was coaxed back out to bat but only if Evans promised not to do that again.

It was nice to see young Steve Burton back on the crick field once again. Obviously his rest worked as he was back to his fast and aggressive best. The innings progressed and the bowlers, especially Wynne, all put in a great performance – Wynne (7-4-10-3), Evans (10-4-34-1), Burton (9-0-44-3), Harvey (7-2-26-2), Buss (1-0-6-0).

Two dismissals stick in the mind – the first was an incredibly cheeky stumping by Cook. The ball was bowled, the batsman let it go through to Cook who examined it, shinned it a bit, had a quick chat with the first slip and then nonchalantly rolled it under-arm towards the stumps. The batsman who must have assumed the ball was over (it’s not dead till it is back in the bowler’s hand) and had gone gardening. He had no option but to head back to the pavilion. The second was a diving catch at long on by Evans. In itself, it was a good catch but then he took to face pulling again. This time it was because he had wrenched his knee, which hurt apparently. Not a startling event in itself but like that damned butterfly who causes storms, it was going to have a knock on effect. More of which later.

Ray outdid himself (and if it was Jane who did them then I knew that really) and we had a splendid tea. Some more than others – you know who you are Davies!

So we were set a total of 128 to win. We were then treated to something we’ve not seen for a while – Buss donning the pads and heading out to open. Could this be the start of something big – yes. Evans and Buss proceeded to give us a demonstration of all batting techniques and shots. Getting back to that butterfly, Buss played a shot down to cow corner and set off for a run, Evans being a game lad obliged and set off too. Now, baring in mind that his knee was damaged (not his words) it came as some surprise to all of us when completed the second run only to find Buss baring down on him like like Wile after the Road Runner. There was nothing to do but run, hop, wince and plummet the 22 yards back to the other end. By some miracle, he made it but at a price. He tried to bat on one leg but was out a couple of overs later. Then came the unfortunate Barker who having seen how the land lay with regard to running set off on an “easy” (there is still some dispute) single. About halfway down the track, Richard realised the Buss hadn’t moved an inch and he was stranded. Enter the boy Bryce – a new star of Harvey’s Heroes on a Sunday. Could he survive the step up to the big time? Well, yes. With 8 fours he stormed his way to 44 before he partnership with Buss came to an end. A great way to introduce himself. By this stage we needed only 7 for victory and so Buss clipped 2 through the leg side and then smashed a 6 to win the game and end up unbeaten at 65.

Moment of the match – young Sam Davies was quietly playing on the far side of the pitch when mum decided it was time to go and to attract his attention she whistled. Now I’ve not heard the like of the blast that issued from her normally demure lips. Everyone stopped dead, the bowler dropped the ball, the batsman did something that will require some specialist cleaning, the sonic boom echoed along the North Downs, there were reports that dogs in Meopham all started heading towards Wrotham, the poor boy from Platt who was frightened earlier by Evans shot off over the fence and has not been seen since. Sam clearly is used to such things as he did not bat an eye – personally I’d say he was deafened at an early age.

Blue Star – Away – Forfeit

This is becoming a habit – we don’t have 11 so we call the game off. You can still play with 8 you know!!!

Halsted – Away – Lost

What a roller-coaster day. We were pitched from deepest depression to the dizzy heights of ecstasy, to the uncharted area of hope and back to depression once more, then to hilarity and finally the pub.

To start with, we were let down badly by two players who we only found out were not planning to play by accident. Unforgivable.  We had no option but to set off to play a team lying in third place with only nine players. Depression.

We togged out and took the field with a determined attitude (reminiscent of Dani vs. the Impreza Turbo). Boy did that field look empty – you don’t realise what a difference two players can make. Still, after 4 overs Halsted had scored only 10 runs. After 5 overs they were 14 for 4!! Yes, the Alex “Shorty” Wynne bowled what can only be described as an unplayable over. Sometimes bowlers will get 4 wickets in a game and that is very good. Although you’ll probably find a couple of tail-enders in there (Stacy Buss you know I mean you). To do so in one over is quite something else again. And to do so against the top order batsmen of a potentially league winning side is just unheard of.  Ecstasy.

The regenerated Martin (thanks Nicki) was not going to be left out and 7 overs later removed number 6 and 7 on consecutive balls. This set him up for great figures of 11-5-30-4 including starting his bowling spell with three maidens. With Halsted at 37 for 6 things were looking good. Hope.

The bowling and fielding didn’t really change – it was still incredibly sharp – but somehow their batsmen rallied and got to 106 before the next wicket fell. This seemed to spur them on and they got to 199 before the final wicket fell. Depression revisited.

Tea was nice.

Our batting, hmmm … same old story. Evans and Martin give us a solidish start and then the collapse. Only four batsmen managed to get into double figures. and we slumped to 110 all out. The distressing thing about it all was that we managed to get ourselves out rather than the opposition taking the wickets. The only innings of note were Butler (23) and Evans (24).

Moment of the match: well, there were two really – the first when Squeaky Buss tried for a run out. So convinced was he that the batsman was out that he proceeded to do a cross between a rain dance and an impression of a bare footed person on the hot sand of St. Tropez. The umpire was not impressed. The second incident is far more serious, apparently there is a new malaise for middle-aged, fat, unfit men whereby they are struck down with severe leg cramps after batting for six overs in a row. Now admittedly Jason has not batted that long for ever such a long time but the sight of him laid flat out in the middle of the pitch screaming like a girl was very distressing to the rest of the team – oh no, my mistake, we all fell about laughing. Word for the wise, don’t get hurt while we are about as you’ll get no help or sympathy.

Buckhurst – Home – Lost

Where to begin, the opening spell was good – Buckhurst had only managed 20 off the first 10 overs and they were rattled. Somehow, we managed to let things slide and with some solid batting we let them get to 148 for 5. Still not too bad. Then after 87 runs were added before the next wicket fell we were looking at a big total. The only bright spot in an otherwise drab performance was Richard Barker’s 3 overs at the end of the innings when Buckhurst were smashing the ball all around. His figures of 1 for 9 was really quite special.

Having been set a target of 257 we took to the pitch with hope in our heart sure in the knowledge that given a solid start we could hit the runs. At 38 for 5 the solid start didn’t really happen. We were in trouble. Cometh the hour, cometh the man – Buss took to the crease.  He was joined almost immediately by the injured but heroic Fennell. While Buss set about giving us a master class in batting stroke play, Fennell went back to his agricultural ways and together they caressed and bludgeoned the ball about the park. The partnership came to an end after they had added 60 runs to the total. This seemed to give the rest of the batsmen a much needed kick in the preverbal and they put their head down and brought our score to 153 before we were all out.

We were 104 runs short and another game was gone. There were some positives but not enough.

Moment of the match – Neil took a really sharp catch at first slip -  well, sharp in as much as the ball left the bat very quickly and Neil managed to hang on to it on the third attempt. Cirque du Soleil have been on the phone – they need a new juggler and have made a very generous offer.